Mr Ratburn Has Tourettes
by NocturneD
Summary: Mr. Ratburn is diagnosed with the Tourettes syndrome where it causes him to shout vulgar things at the children of his classroom, now the people had enough and have him fired. contains crude humor and alot of bad language
1. Chapter 1

Mr. Ratburn Has Tourettes

By NocturneD

Note: Just want to stray away from the "Strange Adventure" and since I now have a job at Giant Eagle where really it's okay. Just beat tired when I come home and barely want to do anything while I get home, not even write stories or attempt those. But I'm trying and this is one of my return stories for the Arthur section. Don't tell the Naruto section because I still owe them a few updates on my stories there. And plus, I want to keep my title of most random writer in this section!

Warning: Tourettes is a real disorder and please don't give me a bunch of crap about being insensitive towards people with these kinds of problems. We already have Arthur being a retard and look how that story came out. Just sit back and try to enjoy, you don't like please just leave this story behind. If you want to review and don't like what you see, please leave a constructive criticism instead of stupid reviews saying I suck and can't write for shit. Okay? Onto the story.

Caution: extreme language

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Chapter 1: BULLSHT!

Arthur and his friends were sitting in the classroom on a sunny Monday morning waiting for their teacher to finally arrive back from the hospital for reasons unknown to them but more likely the adults in Elwood City to understand. The clock read nine thirty as Mr. Haney instructed them to complete their assignments from last week before Mr. Ratburn had to go to the hospital, just then the door opened up to reveal Mr. Haney wearing his usual blue suit and walks in with Mr. Ratburn who looked a little bit more sluggish than usual trailing behind him.

"Class... may I have your attention?" Mr. Haney asked while coughing to get their attention, the kids looked up. "Mr. Ratburn is back from the hospital and is diagnosed with tourettes, a syndrome that affects the brain in a way that... makes him shout out random vulgarities and... since it's uncontrollable... Mr. Ratburn will be saying some... strange things..." Mr. Haney took off his glasses and cleaned them with a cloth from his pocket, "So I want you all to try your best to keep up with Mr. Ratburn and still give him the same respect you would give him before he left..."

Mr. Ratburn looked around the classroom with a smug look on his face, looking like he hasn't had a good night's sleep or even looked like he combed his hair. The children looked at him like he was a more casual Mr. Ratburn, probably didn't want to fully suit up for work again, really who would? Mr. Haney slid his glasses back on and continued talking, "I'll be turning the class back to you Mr. Ratburn so they're all yours." The principal walked past the teacher and left the class.

Mr. Ratburn coughed and tried to start his new lesson plan, "Okay... children we're gonna start the day off with some math problems..." The rat man grabbed the nearest piece of chalk he could find on the board behind him and started writing, the children moaned in disappointment, suddenly... The chalk made a horrible screech as Mr. Ratburn started to grind his teeth in anger and then fisted the chalkboard. The children gasped and then Ratburn tried to go back to his lesson, "Now what's twenty divided by three hundred times A?"

Binky raised his hand, Ratburn turned his head and called on Binky in a grunt pitch in his voice, "Binky?"

"Can I go to the bathroom?" Binky asked.

"FUCK YOU KID YOU'RE A DICK!" Mr. Ratburn shouted at the top of his lungs, the entire class gasped in surprise.

Arthur leaned into Buster to whisper into his ear, "This must be the tourettes thing the grown ups were talking about?"

"ARTHUR YOU LITTLE FUCK SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Mr. Ratburn shouted as he pointed the chalk piece at the aardvark child with glasses, everyone gasped again. Suddenly Mr. Ratburn tried to calm down, "Sorr... sorry children it's just that it's... AH FUCK!!!"

About two hours into the class time, Mr. Ratburn tried everything to overcome his tourettes but it was like trying to hold in a sneeze so he was going to shout something vulgar sooner or later and probably hurt someone's feelings. So he decided to do a spelling be with the class, but it wasn't going as he had planned.

"Francine... your word is... PISS!!!" Mr. Ratburn shouted, what he really wanted to say was the word Chlorophyll but this word will have to do.

"Piss... Uh... can you give me the definition?" Francine asked.

"PISS COMES OUT OF YOUR DICK BITCH!" Mr. Ratburn shouted and almost fell out of his chair, half of the class was laughing or giggling.

"Uh... Okay, can you use it in a sentence?" Francine asked again.

"PISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Mr. Ratburn shouted from behind his desk.

"Uh... P-I-S-S... Piss..." Francine spelled out.

"Good... you can stay up there in line WITH THE OTHER FUCKING RETARDS!!!" Ratburn shouted, "ARTHUR STOP TOUCHING YOUR DICK!"

"But I'm not touching my..." Arthur tried to explain as his hands were no where near his crotch.

"YOU'RE TOUCHING YOUR DICK STOP IT YOU LITTLE PUSSY!!!" Ratburn shouted while he pointed.

"Uh Mr. Ratburn, can I go to the bathroom? I still didn't go a couple hours ago..." Binky asked.

"GO SHIT IN YOUR DESK!!!" Ratburn yelled.

"Boy I'm already counting the days until summer arrives..." Buster whispered to the Brain.

To be continued?

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Note: Yes, just a bunch of random crap and swearing? Does it make the story good? Probably, maybe not. Now if you don't know the entire truth about tourettes syndrome then please look it up on wikipedia because I could explain it here but I rather you look it up yourself. Plus, if anyone noticed yeah this is sort of copying the tourettes guy on his website as he shouts random things too, whatever... just good to write again.


	2. Chapter 2

Mr. Ratburn Has Tourettes

By NocturneD

Note: Well the story got mostly amusing reviews, a couple asking me to research a little more. Truth is, I put a note on the bottom on the story for you people to be a little more educated on tourettes, sure you're asking me to look it up but I also want you people to do some research too just to know more. In a way, it might not look educational with the swearing and junk but somehow it could be educational.

Caution: extreme language

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Chapter 2: HOLY SHT!!!

Later that day while the children were getting their final assignments for the day, the bell rang for school to end. All the children got up and left in a hurry though Mr. Ratburn was struggling with a few papers as they fell from his desk and wanted to say something else to the kids, "Er damn it... WAIT A MINUTE YOU DICKS!!!" Mr. Ratburn yelled as the kids wasted no time leaving, he only sighed and swore under his breath, today was not his day ever since he was diagnosed with this terrible syndrome. Thinking back, his father had something similar when he was growing up while he sat back at his desk and rubbed his temples. "Then grandpa had it too..." He muttered, remembering his grandfather also had tourettes, must meaning that it can be passed down through genetics.

Later that night...

"Arthur can you walk over to the frozen dinners and get me either a macaroni and cheese meal or... maybe a pilaf rice?" Mr. Read asked his son to go get him something, the entire Read family was shopping at Giant Eagle that night.

"Alright dad..." Arthur said as he walked over to the frozen dinner isle and looked at all the different frozen dinner meals they had, "So many different brands... Let's see, well there's the macaroni and cheese up there..." He adjusted his glasses and looked up, "All the way up there..." Arthur decided to climb inside the freezer door until Mr. Ratburn came walking past him looking for a couple of frozen pizzas, "Almost there..." He tried to reach.

"HOLY SHIT THEY GOT THE FOUR CHEESE PIZZA ON SALE!!!" Mr. Ratburn shouted, Arthur got surprised and gasped as he lost his balance and fell onto his back but unfortunately all the frozen dinner meals came tumbling on top of him.

Luckily, the employees working the frozen section came to Arthur's rescue as one of them is WINGZ (me), as he said, "I'm not cleaning this shit up..." Then he left Arthur in his frozen dinner meal burial and went on break.

Moments later, Buster Baxter and his mother were walking down the cereal isle to pick out a cereal, unfortunately the rat was there too deciding what to buy. He couldn't decide between the generic brand called Fruit-O's or Ca-Ca Poofs, Mrs. Baxter excused herself to use the restroom and trust her son in finding the right brand of cereal they are looking for. But for Buster he was just gonna grab whatever he felt like, he saw Mr. Ratburn and asked, "Hey Mr. Ratburn, looking for a cereal?"

Mr. Ratburn shouted in surprise, "HOLY DUMB FUCK!!!"

Buster widen his eyes, "Uh sorry Mr. Ratburn... I was just asking because If you're having trouble maybe I can help? So... what do you say?"

"YOU'RE A FAGGOT!!!" Mr. Ratburn grabbed a box of Ca-Ca Poofs and walked off, thus shaking again. Mr. Ratburn walked up to the register with his food and waited for his total to be brought up, but when he saw the total of one hundred and seventy seven dollars and forty two cents he looked into his wallet, "Ah damn it... I only got forty six dollars... Gotta put some stuff back..." He saw the register person reach for the beer, "DON'T PUT THE BEER BACK!!!"

The next day at school... Mr. Ratburn was trying to take it easy with the class today by making them watch an in class movie about hygiene, Fern was excused from class to use the restroom but when she came back into the class she asked if she could open a window . Ratburn only nodded while trying to calm down by reading a magazine, Fern went over to open a window to let some air in only for a little blue bird to fly in as well.

Some of the students noticed as well, while Mr. Ratburn continued to read the magazine and ignore the fact that a bird flew in and now is perched up on the pipe running through one of the walls of the room. Fern ran up to Mr. Ratburn and said, "Mr. Ratburn, Mr. Ratburn!"

Mr. Ratburn slammed his fist down at the table and shouted, "WHAT?"

Fern took a second to come up with what she wanted to say, "There's a... there's a bird in the classroom!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN A BIRD?" Ratburn asked.

"It flew in while I opened the window and..." Fern tried to explain.

"HOLY SHIT!!!" Mr. Ratburn got up from his desk and reached for the nearest blunt object which was a broom that he used to clean up George's vomit awhile ago, "AH FUCK! DAMN IT!!!" Quickly Ratburn also picked up one of the heavy textbooks and watched the bird sit on top of the clock, Ratburn threw the book at the bird... but ended up smashing the clock in and making it fall to the ground, "AH SHIT!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!!" Then he started to wave around the broom and start swatting at the bird to make it go back outside but doing poorly, "FUCK!" He shouted as he swung and... knocked over the television that was playing the movie onto the ground as it started to throw off sparks. "FUCK YOU DAMN BIRD!" He swatted again this time hitting Binky in the face with the broom, Ratburn just got up and left without acknowledging that he hit his student as Binky started crying like a little pussy. "FUCK YOU FUCKING BIRD!!!" He then swatted again only for him to hit one of the ceiling lights and break it.

"Mr. Ratburn you're going to break everything in the classroom!" Brain raised his hand and urgently replied.

"I'M TOO PISSED TO GIVE A SHIT!!!" Ratburn shouted at his most prized student. Thus the little blue bird flew into the Nigel's face and started to peak at him, "AH SHIT!!! DAMN IT!!!"

To be continued...

Note: Well people, most liked it, few got the hint, some didn't like it. I don't care, I might of borrowed some material from the tourettes guy website but glad that some of you liked the first chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

Mr. Ratburn Has Tourettes

By NocturneD

Note: Well it's great that everyone is taking a liking to my stories that I posted up awhile ago but I want to make everything clear to everyone who wants to give me suggestions in their reviews. Please, I will only do one of each of your requests, not all of them in one chapter. For example if five reviewers give me a list of what they want to see, I'll try to pick one from each of their list... or if I got the next chapter well planned I'll only pick one item from... one list only. We got that?

Caution: extreme language

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Chapter 3: MOTHER FCKER!!!

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There was a lot of talk lately about Mr. Ratburn should either retire from teaching because of his condition or should stay on, this was mostly the talk of the town for the entire week that he came back. Of course a lot of people got a lot of laughs out of him, there are others who think he should be fired for shouting vulgar things in public weather he has tourettes or not. Mr. Ratburn though knew his own morals though he tried to control his condition with relaxation pills though they do pretty little against him.

Today was Sunday morning at it was time for everyone to go to church though this included Mr. Ratburn who tried to fill his soul with a little more light before he loses himself entirely. Nigel sat towards the back and had a plan, if he needed to shout something he could run out to the nearest exit and shout all he wanted outside. Though everyone sort of had an eye out on him as well, half of them knew that he probably could control himself in the house of god.

The music started playing as everyone stood as the priest and alter boys made their way down to the alter to begin the service. The priest who was a shot black haired monkey with tan skin as he went up to the podium, "At ease my children..." Everyone sat down, "I would like to thank you all for coming. And for a change of pace I would like to invite Principal Haney to read a passage from the good book as our opening..." The priest waved his hand for Mr. Haney to come up to the podium.

Mr. Haney came up to the podium and turned to the page he wanted to read, he first adjusted his glasses and let out a little cough, "Passage... Matthew 1:33... And so it was said from our lord and savior when he said to Abraham to..."

"PISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Mr. Ratburn shouted, then he covered his mouth as everyone gasped. The priest waved his arms for everyone to silence and let Mr. Haney to continue.

"As I was saying... And he said to Abraham that uh... now I lost my place... hold on everyone let me start over again..." Mr. Haney apologized, some of the kids moaned as they knew this would drag out church even longer.

"AH FUCK!!!" Ratburn shouted again.

Church lasted three hours that day...

For Mr. Ratburn it was a terrible previous week and the weekends didn't help either, as he knew that he was on thin ice for certain people. What could he really do to make up for it? Well, he always had the children but even he insulted them by shouting things at them, he was a changed person...

Monday morning... he had an announcement to make to his class, "Er... children, I knew that the previous week hasn't really been the same ever since I came back with tourettes, but I hate to say it... but we're gonna take it easier until summer arrives which... is still two months away as I came up with a new work schedule... Monday and Tuesday are work days, Wednesday are free days, and Thursday and Friday are movie days... does that sound alright the rest of you?" No one objected but secretly Brain was crying inside... because he was a smart pussy... "But there will be times where we will have field trips, I want them on the last three days of the week so..."

"FIELD TRIP!" Binky stood up and threw his arms up in the air like a retard.

"SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU ASS FACED BITCH!" Ratburn shouted, Binky sat down looking sadly to the ground, "And anyways... our first field trip will be to the water park just outside of town..." The class cheered, "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DICKS!!!" The class suddenly went quiet, Ratburn scanned the room quickly, "Has anyone seen Arthur?"

Meanwhile back at Giant Eagle, Arthur was still buried underneath all the frozen dinners and was under there for a week...

The bell rang for lunch... but Mr. Ratburn had to take a big crap so he went to the bathroom first, sat down, did his business, looked to his left and saw that... there was no toilet paper, he then let out a huge, "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!" He stood up broke down the stall door to walk around the hallways with his pants around his ankles looking for spare toilet paper since he checked the other ones and there were none because the Tough Customers took all the toilet paper in the entire school and burned it. So Mr. Ratburn was shuffling with his pants down around his ankles until he went into the cafeteria and shouted, "WHERE'S THE PAPER TOWELS!!!"

Mrs. McGrady took one look at Mr. Ratburn and fainted, but she hit her head on the counter top a little too hard that her head split open and blood was oozing out. The children were panicking and screaming to see the cafeteria lady dead on the floor, and Mr. Ratburn with his pants down...

To be continued...

To be continued...

Note: Okay, like I said in the note I'll take suggestions but will pick a few of them, not all of them okay? And sorry to Shinji that I didn't use all the ideas he had, atleast so far.


	4. Chapter 4

Mr. Ratburn Has Tourettes

By NocturneD

Note: Ready for another chapter while trying to cool off?

Caution: extreme language

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Chapter 4: BITCH!!!

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Through all the times Mr. Ratburn usually turned a field trip into school work, the current field trip to the Wet Willy Water park really didn't turn out as fun as everyone thought it would be. At least not with Nigel's condition as everyone one stare at him as he was doing his... new habit of shouting vulgar things. And if that wasn't bad enough, the class got into trouble by cutting in line for the water slide ride, the life guard tried to make them all go in the back of the line but Ratburn started shouting more profanity to confuse everyone. Thus the life guard just thought that their teacher must of be a retarded psychopath or something.

At that moment, Ratburn was at peace again trying to enjoy himself while he wore black swim trunks and yellow sandals and sitting down on a bench nearby the line. As of right now, Nigel didn't feel like getting in line to go down a giant slide that is exaggerated to be one hundred feet tall, probably would be screaming the F word all the way down.

Just then two females sat down next to him, one rabbit with long curly blonde hair wearing a pink bikini and a short haired brunette cat girl wearing a blue bikini. This attracted Nigel for just a bit as he had a thing for girls with big breasts, then again he had a thing for big butts and he cannot lie as he looked on they looked like in their early twenties, probably college girls. Suddenly the brunette cat girl pulled out a bottle of sun tan lotion and...

"Oh Jackie can you get my back?" The blonde bunny girl asked as she shifted her back to the other girl while lifting her hair.

"Sure Denise!" The brunette squirted out some pink goo and rubbed it all over the bunny girls back smoothly and slowly.

Mr. Ratburn was getting an obvious hard on, unfortunately Muffy was there to ruin it when she had to ask Mr. Ratburn something, "Mr. Ratburn! Buster poured his slushy down my bathing suit!"

Mr. Ratburn growled, "Punch the little fuck then!" then went back to watching the two girls lather lotion all over each other, just then Buster came back with a bloody eye.

"Mr. Ratburn, Muffy punched me in the eye!" Buster cried while rubbing off the blood from his face.

"SHOVE HER DOWN THE STAIRS THEN!!!" Ratburn shouted, Buster did just that as he climbed the stairs again and then shoved Muffy over the railing instead as she fell twenty feet and then she broke her skull open and her brains slipped out of her head as it started to float in the large pool. No one cared because it was Muffy so no one called an ambulance.

But to make a long story short, Mr. Ratburn tripped over something and accidently landed on the blonde girl's boobs where she screamed "RAPE!" Apparently no one is going to take the guy's side wether it was an accident or not so the class was kicked out of the water park and can never come back.

After ruining their field trip they all got back on the bus and started driving back to school, without Muffy who still was floating in the pool along with her brain. Binky raised his hand, "Mr. Ratburn, can we stop so I can go to the bathroom?"

"Can I go too?" Francine asked too.

"STICK YOUR ASSES AND DICKS OUT THE WINDOW BECAUSE WE AREN'T STOPPING THIS BUS!" Ratburn shouted.

And that's what some of the kids did, and Binky shoved his ass so far out the window that he had watery diarrhea literally spraying out of his ass and hit a random car passing by on the other side. Suddenly followed by the car crashing into a nearby tree then catching flames, Mr. Ratburn shouted, "THE HELL WAS THAT?"

Binky moaned, "The burritos I must of had this morning..." Then suddenly a passing truck on the opposite side had glass windows hanging off the side because they did a half assed job putting everything inside the truck that it's leaning outwards and suddenly...

SLICE

"MR. RATBURN I HAVE NO ASS!!!" Binky cried as literilly he had no ass as the bone was showing and blood spraying everywhere.

"HOLY SHIT!!!" Mr. Ratburn shouted.

To be continued...

Note: Not as great but please people I am very busy as of lately keep suggestions down to a minimum.


	5. Chapter 5

Mr. Ratburn Has Tourettes

By NocturneD

Note: Ready for another chapter while trying to cool off?

Caution: extreme language

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Chapter 5: DICK!!!

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It was a brand new day in Elwood city, as well as a brand new school day for the children but unfortunately Mr. Ratburn was pulled into the principals' office to discuss about his future which didn't look good. Mr. Haney explained that there were a lot of complains about Nigel about his swearing and fidgeting that it's getting too out of hand. The only solution was to let Mr. Ratburn go before anything else goes down, besides the doctors at the hospital had a hard time putting Binky's ass back onto his rear end without it looking ridiculous which it was, where they had to sew it back on and it sort of made him look like Frankenstein's monster. Arthur was retrieved from the grocery store and was forced to go back to school anyway, Muffy on the other hand was dead and good riddance...

"I'm sorry Nigel, but this is the only thing I can do for you now. I'm going to have to let you go." Mr. Haney explained nicely as he always was.

"ARE YOU SHITTING ME?" Ratburn shouted then fell out of his chair.

"Nigel it's with the school boards' best interest that we pardon you from teaching, but don't worry about the children we got someone else who is going to take good care of them like you did with them before your... your condition." Haney adjusted his glasses just now.

"AW PISS..." Ratburn blurted out while he was on the floor, "So who did you get?"

"Well his name is..." Mr. Haney looked through a few of the files on his desk, "Ah yes... his name is Mr. Lexington Grange, he got his teaching degree after he... served time in the military, really a nice guy and has a nice record of him teaching at private schools, some reason he felt like teaching a public school and picked this one... I'm sure he'll keep the kids busy."

Meanwhile back in the classroom, a very well built man shaped like an adonis stood before the class to introduce himself. He was wearing green khaki pants, nice black polished shoes, dark yellow dress shirt, green matching tie. Along his sleeve he has his military ranking badges on his side, and for some reason he had a drill instructor's hat on. He was very tall, and had bulldog like features.

"ATTEN-HUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" Mr. Grange called out, the kids looked at each other, "I SAID ATTEN-HUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT YOU LITTLE MAGGOTS!" The children straightened up in their chairs not knowing what to do.

The huge man looked around the room without leaving the spot he was standing it, "My name is Lieutenant Grange! I Will be your replacement teacher for the rest of the year! I know you all think Mr. Ratburn is tough, but I'M TOUGHER!" He shouted making the walls rattle. "We will be doing tougher forms of math, English, science, you name it!" This worried Buster, and the other kids.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" Binky raised his hand.

"REAL MEN HOLD IT IN PRIVATE!!!" Grange shouted, then walked up to Binky then lowered his chiseled face towards Binky's face, "I heard about you..." Binky gulped, "YOU HAVE TO TAKE A SHIT EVER HOUR!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU GOT DIARRHEA OR SOMETHING?" Binky started to shake, the teacher's face started to get red, "YOU SURE YOU'RE GOING TO THE BATHROOM? HUH?" Binky started to shake a little more, Mr. Grange stood up, "Fine go ahead..."

"I think I already did..." Binky stuttered, suddenly the room started to smell like shit.

"In matter of fact... WE SHOULD ALL USE THE RESTROOM NOW AS A CLASS!" Mr. Grange shouted, "NOW FORM A LINE TO THE DOOR!" No one got up, "I SAID FORM A LINE!"

The entire classroom went to the bathroom together, the girls and boys went in five at a time, for five boys then five girls but for some reason Binky, Brain, George, and Buster didn't come out yet. Mr. Grange sent in Arthur to find out what was the hold up, but once Arthur got in there he saw those four playing football only with... shit... they were throwing it everywhere, Arthur only let out a gasp as Mr. Grange came walking in tired of waiting, only to find... "WHY IS THERE SHIT ALL OVER THE WALL?!"

The four boys paused but Buster threw a huge pile at Binky's face at the last moment, "YOU FOUR!!!" He pointed, he walked over and put all four boys in a huge headlock using both of his arms as they were moaning in slight pain as Mr. Grange put pressure around their necks. He then dragged them all over to a random stall and kicked down the door to show a toilet bowl, "THIS IS YOUR TARGET! DO YOU GET ME?!" They only moaned in pain, "DON'T MAKE ME BEAT THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF YOU!" He let Buster loose and kicked his head that his face went into the toilet bowl, bubbles were coming up as Buster tried to get out but couldn't because Mr. Grange was forcing his head in then flushed the toilet on him. Buster fell back and started coughing and dripping wet.

A few hours later, Mr. Grange closed the windows tight and pulled down the blinds over the windows making sure no light gets in. Mr. Grange walked over to his desk and pulled out a camera and a huge cardboard box full of costumes, setting up for like a small private photo shooting room. "Now, I want to try a little something called roleplay, I will have two or three of you up here doing a scene from my choosing and you have to dress up in these costumes I got in this box so.." Mr. Grange pulled out a clipboard, "I want... Buster, Francine, and... Binky to come up here and I'm going to tell you to play out a scenario..." He pulled out the box in front of them.

"Hey cool, like putting on a play." Buster dug through the box and found a black leather outfit, particularly leather assless chaps. Binky already started to take off his shirt to put on a leather sleeveless vest then a mask with a zipper over the mouth. Francine dug through and brought out a huge leather whip.

"Ah yes...now these kids will pleasure me individually..." Mr. Grange laughed sinisterly in his thoughts.

Meanwhile back in the principal's office Mr Ratburn was still having a one on one with Mr Haney and asked, "This guy a pervert or something?"

"Oh no, we read his profile and he's married with two kids..." Mr. Haney said with a smile.

To be continued...

Note: Well it's finally happened Mr. Ratburn is being replaced but with someone worse... Stay tuned!


	6. Chapter 6

IMr. Ratburn Has Tourettes

By NocturneD

Note: Ready for another chapter while trying to cool off?

Caution: extreme language

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Chapter 6: PISS SH!T

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Mr. Ratburn was about to leave Mr. Haney's office until suddenly there was a knock at the door and since Mr. Ratburn was already up he decided to get it. He opened the door to find a tall well built rabbit man in a normal black business suit with short middle parted black hair and blue eyes.

Mr. Haney coughed, "Can I help you?"

The man spoke, "Uh yeah, I'm Mr. Grange the substitute. We talked over the phone as I wanted to tell you that I was coming in late."

Mr. Haney scratched his head, "That's strange. I thought the man that went into Mr. Ratburn's classroom was... Mr... Grange..." The principal froze and muttered, "If... you're Grange... then... who the..."

It didn't take two seconds for Mr. Ratburn to figure out, "HOLY SHIT!"

The three men raced to the classroom to find the room completely dark except for a single light shining over the desk as Binky, Buster, and Francine were dressed in leather and holding weird erotic objects. Binky was bent over the wooden desk with everyone's knowledge that he's wearing the assless chaps, Francine was holding up a dashboard lighter and then suddenly presses it against Binky's ass as the large boy yelped and gripped the end of the table. The three older men were shocked by this as Mr. Ratburn interrupted, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Suddenly the real Mr. Grange pointed to the supposed substitute sitting in the back manipulating himself, "Hey wait... I remember you! You're that guy from NAMBLA!"

"Uh..." The fake substitute tried to zip up his pants until he decided to run for it as he grabbed the gray bunny boy and the yellow bunny girl in the stripped shirt and jumped through the windows.

"Where those two important?" The real Mr. Grange asked.

"No..." The class replied back.

"Who were those two anyway?" Sue Ellen asked.

"Is everyone alright?" Mr. Haney asked.

"Yeah..." The class replied.

"My butt burns..." Binky moaned.

And so after that, peace was once again restored to the classroom.

"Well children, as you all know that this is Mr. Ratburn's last day so let's all give him a really big cheer and a fond farewell." Mr. Grange instructed. And that's what the children gave him, a very fond farewell until Mr. Ratburn told them to go suck an elephants' dick and go shit at the ice cream store for some reason.

"Good bye Mr. Ratburn! We'll miss you!" Buster waved.

"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU ALL THE ASS!!!" Ratburn shouted as he drove out of the school parking lot. Mr Grange took the students back into the building to start the lesson plan as he decided to take it easy today since it was his first day. The days turned to weeks, then weeks turned into months... Then suddenly, the family of the students of Mr. Ratburn's class received a letter that Nigel Ratburn has died in a car accident while trying to swear at an old woman for driving too slow. As well as flipping a school bus full of kids the finger... The funeral was sad as everyone showed up and cried remembering all the good times. Each student had a chance to say something about their former teacher...

"I remember Mr. Ratburn gave me a lot of detentions for thinking I'm mooning him when it was really my face..." Binky sniffed, "He was the sweetest person ever... and... he... called me an ass faced bitch!!!" Binky cried, "OH MR. RATBURN WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO!!!"

At the end of the funeral, Mr. Ratburn was buried face down because that was his request. Reason why, he said that the whole world could kiss his ass...

The minutes flew by as more and more people left Mr. Ratburn's fresh grave, the only ones left where his former students as they were all dressed in black. Except for Muffy who wore red... Arthur wiped away his tears as he pulled out the class photo they took while at the trip to the Wet Willy Water park as Mr. Ratburn posed with the children around him. All of them smiling.

"We'll never forget you Mr. Ratburn." Arthur sniffed.

"Somewhere up there... or down there he's smiling." Buster sighed.

To be continued...

Note: I know, sad that I'm ending this early because I got to get back to the Naruto section sometime.


	7. Chapter 7

Mr. Ratburn has Tourettes

By NocturneD

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Note: As you thought I couldn't possibly push out one more chapter after the last one, here is the final chapter of this story. Oh and to Sbfan, you complain like a pussy to me again you'll regret it.

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Final Chapter

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Arthur and his classmates look at the clock eagerly as one hour remains until school is let out for the summer. Everyone made plans for the summer with Arthur and his family going to go visit his hillbilly uncle he recently discovered he had and didn't know about, Buster as usual going to sit infront of the tv, Francine taking part in the summer Olympics program for students, Muffy shopping, Brain sitting in his room calculating how long it would take to splice a pig and an elephant DNA, George going with his dad hunting with the NRA gun club, and you can probably figure out what every one else is going to do. Mr. Grange, the replacement teacher of Mr. Ratburn actually had a fun time teaching though it was for only a short while since Mr. Ratburn's passing. The children seemed to like him as he really didn't go full into the lesson plan like Mr. Ratburn would, except for Brain.

Mr. Grange looked up at the clock, fully knowing what the kids were thinking about, he coughed to get their attention well most of them, "Excuse me children but I would like to take this final hour to do an activity with you." The class moaned, "Now kids, it's a simple assignment." He stood up and walked towards the door, "Since I know you are all waiting to leave, how about we make a deal? We go outside for the last hour and play some kick ball?" Truth was, the kids found Mr. Grange more fun than actually serious, it was pretty unanimous they all wanted to go outside to get this school year of hell over with, "Just bring whatever you have going home with you outside so you can have a jump start on leaving." The class erupted in cheers and took whatever and ran outside to the baseball field waiting for Mr. Grange.

The last hour flew by so quickly as everyone had fun, except for Binky who got kicked in the nuts by Sue Ellen and everyone laughed. Even Binky though he was holding onto his crotch and it really hurt him for to stand up. Mr Grange looked at his watch to find that there were ten minutes still left until they had to go home, "Children gather around." he waved them in, "I just want to say it was an honor working with you and... Buster stop picking your nose..." Buster stopped shoving his finger up his nose, "Now, I just want to take the last ten minutes in silence to remember Mr. Ratburn for all his work in raising you. So please give, when you come back in September give the same respect to your new teacher that you gave Mr. Ratburn."

Francine raised her hand, "We don't have any respect for Mr. Ratburn."

"Oh..." Mr. Grange put his hands in his pockets, "Well let's just go around the circle and talk about what you remember the most about him."

"He called me an ass faced bitch." Binky raised his hand.

"He told me I can go to Jolly Pirate's Donuts and take a two hour tour shit for all he cared." George then spoke up next.

"He called me a faggot." Buster spoke up.

"He told me a story about a porcupines balls, they're small and don't give a shit!" Sue Ellen said.

"He told me about Dom Deluise, a famous chef... who sits at home with his ass up his ass!" Arthur raised his hand.

"Okay I think I get the idea kids..." Mr. Grange stopped the circle from going any further, "I think I want to shed some light on this tourettes syndrome. It's different with people who have, some can shake uncontrollably, others do something else like snap their fingers for a certain time, some say things, apparently Mr. Ratburn had some weird uncontrollable thing that makes him swear a bunch of times so meaning... he's trying to censor himself but his tourettes make him blurt out what he's trying not to say... Tourettes isn't contagious, but it can be passed down from parent to child..." The kids scratched their heads, Binky scratched his ass instead, "You have to admit you did have some fun with Mr. Ratburn didn't you?" The kids nodded, and after that conversation the kids went home.

Arthur and his friends hung out at the sugar bowl after school and talked about their summer plans, unfortunately Arthur wasn't proud of what his summer was going to contain. Another hour later he went home to find out that tv was free, taking the chance he turned it on and started watching the Dark Bunny show. Probably ten minutes into the show, his mother walks in and says, "Arthur, I hate to tell you but your sister DW had to go to the doctor's office this morning because she was acting peculiar the past few days." Arthur had to admit it, DW was acting funny the past few days with blurting weird things out she wouldn't normally say. "So I want you try and not take anything she says to heart no matter how offensive alright?"

DW walked in looking normal until, "The fuck you looking at?" She looked at the TV, "Arthur you fucking dipshit give me the remote!"

Arthur didn't know what to make of this, as this sounded pretty familiar, DW looked up at the picture hanging over the fireplace of Grandpa Dave in his military outfit he used to wear back in his days in the service as he held a tuba, "Who's the faggot with the tuba?"

"That's grandpa!" Arthur shouted.

"DW try to watch your mouth!" Jane tried to keep calm.

"OH SHIT! SORRY!" DW grunted.

Jane turned to Arthur and explained, "DW is diagnosed with the same syndrome as your teacher Mr. Ratburn."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Arthur raises his arms up in the air as the camera circles its way around him.

"SHUT UP YOU PUSSY!" DW shouted, "AND STOP TOUCHING YOUR DICK!!"

Arthur then wondered, "No... it can't be..."

The end...

"PISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" DW shouted again.

The end... for real this time...

Note: Wow, another half assed chapter but I finally ended this thing with a surprise ending. Hope you enjoyed this story, and to the people who are acting like assholes towards this, its just a story written for dumb entertainment. I'll change the rating in due time so take that question and shove it up your butt if you wanted to point that out. As for everyone else who loved this, thank you all.


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